Shortly after wiping out Tina Burner on the main stage, Utica Queen returned to the Werkraum in the aftermath of RuPaul’s Drag Race on Friday – but not everyone was in a bad mood.
While Rosé was quick to compliment Utica on a well-dubbed lip, Kandy Muse refused to acknowledge her victory at all – at least in front of Utica’s face. “I’m not going to sit here and tell you,” Oh, girl, you killed lip-synching if I don’t think you did, “Kandy said in a confessional.” I thought Tina killed that lip-sync. ” Meanwhile, Utica wondered aloud if she could be the new season 13 lip-sync assassin (Uh, let’s get nowhere)
“Maybe next time it will be a triple victory.” Suggested Kandy, still wearing the laziest costume, to walk the catwalk with gift bags since LaLa Ris Couture. But the jokes about Kandy end here and now because in week 12 she was determined to win. And she finally did. Twice.
Her first win, which she shared with Rosé, came via this week’s mini-challenge where the queens were tasked with starring in their own live makeup tutorial for the perfect glamorous selfie. The catch? They had to do it in pairs, with one person serving as a face while the other providing arms from behind. Check out all the Muppet Show madness in the video below:
As winners of this week’s mini-challenge, Kandy and Rosé were able to select the show for Drag Race’s first “Nice Girls Roast”, which brought back three legendary Miss Congenialities from yesterday: Heidi N. Closet, Nina West and the perfect, the beautiful one, the Linda Evangelista-esque … Valentina! Both winners wanted to secure the opening spot that ultimately went to Kandy, and Rosé was determined to wrap things up as the last act of the night.
Here’s a breakdown of the good, bad, and (most importantly) ugly moments from Friday’s Nice Girls Roast, in the order they occurred:
KANDY MUSE | Kandy stepped onto the podium with sexy hair and a pulled waist and raised the bar with rapid-fire jokes that made judges wet their depends for a long time. My personal favorite lines included Kandy telling Valentina that her angel in Rent Live “needed an angel,” as well as her contribution to the ever-growing library of jokes about Ru’s age: “RuPaul is so old I told her to get out restrained at her age … And she died. “
SYMON | Symone had never seen a comedy roast before (“The only roasts I’ve seen are in my mom’s pot”) and was nervous about the challenge, but I was confident that she would make it in the end … until it it became very clear that she wasn’t going to do that. Even Nina had to admit: “Symone bombed. It’s like time has stopped. Time just stands still! “At least Heidi was nice enough to say,” I wish her jokes were as good as she looks. ” There’s that Miss Congeniality ghost!
UTICA QUEEN | It’s good that Clara the Cow wasn’t there to see this tragedy play out. After Utica opened for bombing their set with a successful excavation at Symone, she bombed too. Even more difficult. Look, did I cackle to Ross Mathews about their “Symone and Pumbaa” line? Yes. But I was right there with the rest of you crickets when she thought Nina could “speak whale” and when she described Heidi as “gaping and full of bull semen”. It was just weird. And mean. And not funny.
GOTTMIK | A funeral would have been a funnier sequel to Utica and Symone, so it was no surprise Gottmik kicked them out of the park. One thing she did particularly well was maintaining a playful mood even when casting serious shadows. An example of this is when she tells Ross, “You’re the only person I know who watches porn and C-Ms when the pizza is delivered!”
OLIVIA LUX | This was another bomb. It wasn’t quite as disastrous as Symone’s or Utica’s, but it wasn’t good. And what was wrong with that weird little girl character that she wanted to play? I’ll say I enjoyed her joke about Ru (“She’s so old, she signed the Declaration of Independence as a guardian”), but it was a brief flicker of a bright spot in an otherwise dark set.
ROSE | Last place might have been a risk, but it paid off for Rosé. Her jokes about Valentina as delusional, Nina with big shoulders and Heidi trying to sleep with her (“Read!”) Were funny enough to keep the momentum going – and damn hysterical compared to the non-jokes some do their previous roasters tried to serve.
Kandy’s win was a foregone conclusion (and well-deserved), as was the landing of Utica and Symone in the bottom two positions. “One-Note” Olivia was certainly a contender, but she was eventually brought to safety, which resulted in Utica and Symone fighting after Ariana Grande’s “No Tears Left to Cry”. (A blast!)
As always, Utica moved across the stage like Betty Spaghetti, while Symone went for a more nuanced performance. The subtle movements, the characterization, the drama!
In the end, Utica didn’t live up to her self-proclaimed title of lip-synching assassin. She was thrown away while Symone returned to haul another day. Do you have thoughts on these results? Then weigh in using our survey below Leave a comment with your full rating.